"Grief Is for People" by Sloane Crosley

I've never laughed so much about death

Grief Is for People is a memoir about losing a friend, which is not a topic many people write about. I’ve seen plenty of memoirs about losing parents, children, and significant others, but losing your friend isn’t always perceived to be as “important” as someone in your immediate family.

Except that it is.

Sloane Crosley is a publicist who works with and becomes close friends with Russell Perreault. They navigate the publishing industry together, and they seem to get each other. His unexpected death sends her on a quest to find the person who broke into her apartment and stole her jewelry.

Wait what?

Book cover of Grief Is for People by Sloane Crosley

About a month before Russell dies, Sloane’s apartment is broken into and some of her jewelry that was handed down to her by a grandmother, whom she describes as “an awful person”, is stolen. Her deep quest to find the burglar (and yes this goes deep into the alleys of New York City including recruiting an ex-boyfriend) is, of course, not about the jewelry. It’s about making things right in the face of her unending grief about losing her friend.

This memoir is outlined through the first four stages of death, leaving out the last stage: acceptance.

As a life coach who supports people to integrate their trauma, pain, and patterns, Sloane’s wry humor and deep emotions took me on a ride. I wondered what I would ask her, what I’d need clarification on, and mostly, if she’d want a life coach in the first place. I don’t say this as judgment - I’m not a life coach who believes everyone needs one - I say this as observation for who Sloane is and how she relates to reality, death, and herself. As painful as her grief is, it’s unapologetic, and I admired that.

Crosley’s writing is succinct and direct and it smashes you with wisdom you when you least expect it.

“Russell had begun putting his unhappiness where he had once put his happiness.”

“How difficult it is to love someone who was so wrong and who will never be right again.”

“After all, why are we on this planet if not to bring ourselves to its edges?”

I had several laugh out loud moments in this memoir. I’ll leave those moments for you to read. The dark humor is aptly relatable, even if you don’t relate. That’s the magic of this memoir.

The difference between friendship and family is that your friends are able to see and hear and know you beyond blood relations. Sloane and Russell’s relationship doesn’t have the bosom friend kindred spirit vibe of Anne of Green Gables, and that is what makes it so much more curious. Sloane expresses their distinct kindred connection through stories of laughter and heartbreak with the background of the publishing industry.

In all honestly, my writing is nothing like Crosley’s. I don’t know if I’m going to use anything from this memoir as I write my own except to use Sloane as a reference point for how writing can be so utterly unique, captivating, and, ultimately, your own. I hope my memoir exudes a strong voice that you don’t have to relate to personally, yet you connect with universally.

This is a short review, but, for this book, I feel it’s exactly how it needs to be.

I’m offering 3-Hour Wisdom Intensives for people who have already done some healing work and crave a deep and potent experience that brings you closer to yourself, but you feel like you need support in connecting the dots and hearing your inner wisdom. You share an desire with me, and, together, we'll cultivate a safe and transformative space to uncover clarity, wisdom, and actionable steps that align with your values and needs.

I’m offering a highly discounted rate of $475 until the end of March 2025. Interested? Respond to this email or make an appointment with me here.