Relaxation in the desert.
This past weekend, I spent time with two close friends in the desert of Palm Springs. Ever since I moved to California two and a half years ago, I wanted to make this trip. And I’m so glad I did because it was the most relaxing weekend of my life. That is not an exaggeration.
It was relaxing because of who I was with, what we did, and what I didn’t care about.
Who was I with?
I spend the weekend with two incredible women of color that inspire me to reflect, create, and chill the f*ck out. I used to work with these amazing gems, and, though I miss their presence greatly, I’m grateful to have kept the connection going.
These individuals inspire me to just be me, to face my own bullsh*t, and to take care of myself every step of the way with words of affirmation, a hot tub, and home-cooked meals.
I am free to be myself with them, even when being myself means I am self-conscious and feeling pretty ugly. These are true friends. If you don’t have these kinds of people by your side, go find them.
What did we do?
Between hanging in the pool at our Airbnb, jumping to the hot tub in our Airbnb, drinking rosé, eating snacks, and making and eating home-cooked meals, we went to an all-day spa, took a long walk and discovered an abandoned golf course, and performed a full moon ritual to manifest our desires.
We had no agenda, which was the best kind of agenda. It was organic, measured, and just felt so right.
What did I not care about?
During this time, I forgot about all of the pressures I have put on myself at work. I let go of family stress. I didn’t care or even know where my phone might be. And I stopped caring about all the ways I feel the need to be legitimate in the eyes of others: education, relationship status, my weight. None of this mattered.
What did I care about?
I cared about my creativity, I cared about radical talks about race and capitalism and relationships. I cared about community and stories. I cared about caring for the people I was with because they are the ones who make my life glow. I cared about putting myself first and putting others up, especially the ones who show up.
Moving forward…
I’m slowly waiting for some stress to creep back in, it already has. But I have this memory of being weightless for 48 hours, and I won’t forget it.
adrienne maree brown and @thenapministry have taught me that resting and pleasure are radical acts for people of color.
There we were, three women of color, radically relaxing. Feeling so light that pain turned into meaning while the water carried our bodies.
But also…
Feel free to read my latest article We Learn What We See, Not What We’re Told. I also started reading Good Girls Marry Doctors: South Asian American Daughters on Obedience and Rebellion, and there have been a lot of tears.
I have some exciting things coming up in the next few months that I can’t wait to share (and I will soon, I promise)! I’m so grateful for a weekend in the desert to revive my creativity.
Until next time…
With love,
Nisha