i'm not enough: a list

seventeen stories, sensations, and feelings

1. you’ll always be second best

2. buzzing hot jelly runs across my chest

3. tight neck, fidgeting

4. you don’t know how to study

5. sinking pressure under my boobs

6. breathless, worthless

7. no boy likes you but make lists of who might anyway

8. rushing pitter-patters, sensitive heart

9. making notes on the yearbook, hiding my secrets

10. no boy likes you…maybe they will

11. lifted chest, looking out

12. if not now, later, if not now, when

13. make a mistake…the world ends

14. trapped, don’t be mad

15. “you can’t learn unless you make mistakes”

16. “why make a mistake if you don’t have to?”

17. restless suffocating surrender

A photo of Nisha as a young girl